They say a crush is just a lack of information. When you see someone on the daily, the proximity can make it feel like you are getting that information. In reality, you are just getting the highlights. You see their intelligence, a level of professionalism and calm. Possibly a state of higher maturity than their typical self. But remind yourself, you haven’t seen the full picture.
I for one, present a better version of myself in front of colleagues. I’m sure they wouldn’t be impressed by my weekend antics or my attitude.
The New Haircut
On day one, it’s evident what this is. Two people of similar age and hotness. But you draw a mental line in the sand. It’s not going to be anything.
You start to spend some time together, one on one. You notice their perceptiveness and charm. Still, you maintain that line.
One day… They show up a little hotter than usual. An ironed shirt. Shaved face. Fresh haircut. You think, “oh no”.
Unconscious Effort
You wake up Monday morning and decide to blow out your hair, spend a little extra time on your face, and put on an outfit that happens to be quite flattering. You just feel like looking nice today. No other particular reason.
The reason becomes more apparent when you feel a slight of disappointment at their absenteeism.
The Cross Road
In the beginning, that line is in the distance somewhere, a far off possibility. But, every lingering conversation is a step closer. That rose coloured glasses stare. The unnecessary messages. A slight tension. Is it one sided? Sometimes, what feels like mutual attraction is actually just delusion. It’s part of the crush, never really being sure.
The crossroad comes when you come face to face with that line. You know it when you see it.
Smacked with the Consequences
It’s easy to think in the moment that nothing could possibly go wrong. You’ll both be mature adults if it doesn’t work out. Let me tell you now, it’s never that simple. As quickly as this crush arrives, it can all come crashing down. And when you’re the girl in this scenario, you’ll almost always come out of worse.
If it ends badly…
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You can’t avoid each other.
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People may perceive you as promiscuous (or at best, immature).
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You can be labelled “complicated.”
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Rumours can travel quick and judgement even quicker.
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You can receive judgment from places you’d not even unconsidered (you might even lose a friend or two).
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Opportunities can disappear.
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It could be seen as your fault for putting his career at risk, as if there aren’t 2 agreeing parties.
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Everything becomes lowkey awkward.
Plus, why risk your livelihood? It’s not worth it for a crush.
The hard truth is that between the line in the sand and yourself, it’s best to choose yourself. Keep the crush at arms length. But don’t stop it from letting you dress up nice… Just don’t let a fleeting moment become a permanent professional consequence.
IMO, the hangxiety isn’t worth it.
Jim and Pam Love Story
There are some rare instances where it was all worth it in the end, and you really can’t help but love the meet cute. It’s a much better story than Tinder or Hinge.
And like these blogs, a crush makes your Monday a little less dull.